Q: Oh my goodness! Are you guys twins?!
A: No. We’re the start to a clone army.
Q: Can you read each other’s thoughts?
A: Yes. In fact I’m getting a message right now. . . “I can’t believe we’re hearing that stupid question again”.
Q: Hey–if I pinch her, will you feel it?
A: Do you see nerves hanging between us?
Q: You’re like one person right?
A: Yes, yes we are one person. The fact that there are two very distinct persons in front of you is just an illusion. I’m actually carrying a giant mirror next to me.
Q: Wow! So, like, you guys were born on the same day?!
A: Actually, we’re ten years apart. Time warp. True story.
Q: So you like all the same things, right?
A: Oh yes. We like to chew glass, eat pudding at midnight, and waste our lives searching for the wonder wart. Together.
Really?
No. We are two separate people with two different life experiences. We share some interests, but not others.
Q: Hey, can you two stand next to each other so I can scrutinize your every flaw to find a way to tell you apart?
A: Okay, we’ll trade flaw-for-flaw. My eyes are closer together? You have a big nose. Snap a couple photos while you’re at it. That’ll be fifty bucks. What? The privilege of staring at this much beauty has a price you know!
Q: How can I tell you apart?
A: If I tell you that I’d have to kill you.
Q: Which one are you?
A: Depends. If you’re trying to find the twin you’re mad at, I’m not her. If you’re trying to find the twin you owe money to, she’s riiiiiight here.
The Adventures of Shortcake and Goomba 